Well here it is, another Christmas Eve and despite the usual holiday stress, this year I am completely content with my Christmas. A year can make a huge difference and I thought I’d share with you all something I wrote around this time last year and something I wrote this morning.
And of course, I hope all you little perverts have a lovely Christmas yourselves!
So Peppa pig and Santa Claus have successfully covered the town in sparkling lights of festive cheer. The crowds cheer and children scream with excitement as ‘all I want for Christmas’ blares out over the speakers and I strain my already aching neck to see red and green flecks scattered across the sky. The usual oooo’s and ahhh’s can be heard between the fireworks and I feel a sadness in my stomach that I can’t explain. My eyes aren’t brimming with tears but they are glassy. They feel especially warm whereas the rest of my body has started to feel the cold and I shiver slightly.
I’m thinking of him again. I feel disappointed in myself because I know if he was here I would be smiling, laughing, I would be happy. He makes me happy and I hate that he has that power and no one else does. I want my cold hands wrapped in his. I just want my whole body wrapped in his, I want to be close to him, pressed against him and breathing in his intoxicating scent. I hate that everyone is bobbing along to this bloody song because it just reminds me that as cheesy as it is all I really want this Christmas is him.
It’s Christmas Eve, I wake up and through my hazy, sleep filled eyes I see him laying next to me. It’s technically our third Christmas since we started seeing each other but it’s our first Christmas actually together as a couple and I still can’t really believe it.
I smile as I roll closer to him and lay one arm across his side. We kiss sleepily and softly as he rolls over and pulls both the cover and my arm tighter around him. I smile again as I rest my head against his back and close my eyes. I never would have guessed I’d be waking up with him next to me, I never would have guessed we’d share a Christmas like this.
I know later there will be Ferrero Rocher and champagne, later there will be soft kisses and subtle strokes and naked relaxing together with lit candles and cosy Christmas TV. But for right now, I am content with him by my side and I fall easily back to sleep having him so close.